All change

More is changing in the world of Psyche and Cupid.

The other morning, after a lot of intense discussion, unrelated to kink, I started Domming Cupid about chastity. I was threatening to impose orgasm bans on him again - long-term ones, like 48 hours, rather than in-scene ones.

He suddenly stopped me and told me this was too much, and he was starting to feel overwhelmed with Scene, like we were over-doing it.

Initially, I reacted badly to this, taking it as a direct criticism. Since I am still quite insecure as a Domme, I assumed any problem was entirely my fault, and was annoyed that I'd put so much time and effort into learning to Dom, only to find it wasn't really what he wanted.

Of course, it wasn't nearly as drastic a situation as that. Once I calmed down and listened, he elaborated.

He was feeling that we were too sceney and never really out of character. He's never been a 24/7 type, and finds this difficult. Apparently this realisation just hit him, out of the blue, while I was domming.

I can see why this bothers him. Reflecting on what he said, it's true. Since I now live with another kinky couple, who have a D/s situation running pretty constantly, I've been acting up to a similar level. My communal house-space has got very kink-heavy, and Cupid is finding it oppressive.

Also, the counting apologies game we had is liable to sneak into every conversation we have, and is also getting wearing for him.

We resolved:
1. Our various communal spaces, at my place and his, are kink-free. (I lapsed last night, pinching his inner thighs to make him get up and make the tea. He - quite rightly - pulled me up on this behaviour, which was exactly the sort of thing he finds difficult. Worse luck, it's practically a habit with me now.).

2. We dropped the chastity idea altogether - it's never been Cupid's thing, as he likes to keep his erotic independence, although I kind of like it as an easy control method.

3. The counting of apologies has stopped.

4. There is a new safeword - roughly equating to Amber oin the Traffic-Light system - which is Doncaster. This indicates something is uncomfortable or it;s not the right moment, rather than a full-on emergency.

I'm waiting to see how we will react to these changes.

I've really toned down on the D/s, partly because I want to know how much this is a change of Cupid's attitude, and how deep it goes. I find it as hard to envisage him becoming vanilla as becoming a vegan. I shall wait and see.

In Other News.
In just over a week, I come off hormonal contraception and stop being mood-swingy and tearful. Hopefully, that will improve out communication,- which has got a bit wobbly lately, what with me being away from home for a week, and a complex issue regarding non-monogamy arising.

I'm afraid I'm updating more gloom and nothing very exciting or upbeat, but bear with me, reader. Sooner or later there will be more excitement and kink, I promise!